2015-01-21 Modesty in Church

QUESTION
I’ve been attending Immanuel for some time now & have often wondered what the church’s thoughts & feelings are towards modesty? The reason I ask this is because of the clothing (or sometimes lack thereof) I see SOME of our female congregation wearing. Having a wife & a daughter, I understand the difficulty in managing the delicate tension between being in fashion whilst remaining modest. Very difficult thing to do these days. I guess my main concern is, how many men (& young men) are being “distracted” whilst in a meeting meant for serving & worshiping our King?

RESPONSE

Thanks for your question. It has certainly generated some interesting discussion on our side.

1 Timothy 2:8-10 says:

I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling; likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self- control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness — with good works. (ESV)

From what we have here, the issue Paul instructs Timothy on seems to be connected to the idea of materialism rather than sexuality. NT Wright translates this verse as:

“In the same way the women, too, should clothe themselves in an appropriate manner, modestly and sensibly. They should not go in for elaborate hairstyles, or gold, or pearls, or expensive clothes. Instead, as is appropriate for women who profess to be godly, they should adorn themselves with good works.” (New Testament for Everyone)

Rather than adorning themselves with expensive and lavish clothing, the women are encouraged to adorn themselves with good works.

Part of the problem we face is that dress culture changes, and what is normal to one may be considered immodest to others. What may be considered modest to one may be considered oppressive to another. The point is that modesty is culturally defined rather than Biblically defined (we have no specific instructions as to how men or women should dress).

When men speak about the way a woman dresses causing them to lust, they’re following a common pattern of thinking:

1. A man is a visual animal.
2. If he can see the “wrong kind” of flesh on a woman he has sexual thoughts.
3. Women are responsible to dress in a way that doesn’t “cause men to stumble.”

This way of thinking is wrong at so many levels. First, we dehumanise men when we say things like they are “visual animals” as though they have no control over what they see.

Secondly, we’re transferring the responsibility for men’s sin onto women which is the same pattern exhibited in the Garden of Eden (“the woman, you gave me, made me do it”).

Third, this way of thinking serves to reinforce the idea that women are sexual objects which dehumanises and objectifies them.

What Christian women wear should not be defined by men nor by the latest fashion trends, but by God and our call to be image bearers. What we wear should reflect our relationship with God and how we believe He would want us to reflect His nature. A better question would be, does the way we dress reflect the fact that we believe Jesus is Lord (rather than making it a question related to the ever changing standards of what is considered modest)? Or are we dressing in a way to let others know we wear brand name clothing, and are thus inadvertently declaring that consumerism is Lord of our lives? Are we dressing in a way to attract attention to ourselves? Those are better questions.

We as a church, rooted in God’s word, do believe in respectability when it comes to dress code. In fact there have been occasions where we have had to speak to someone about the way they have dressed.

However, we need to remember that anybody is welcome to walk in on a Sunday meeting and be exposed to hearing the Gospel, and this could include a prostitute or a skimpily clad woman who has just come straight from a night club. We would NEVER make them feel unwelcome because of dress, and the believers/worshippers present would be expected to not judge, but rather maturely welcome them in, so that the love of God can touch them in some meaningful way. Some folk attend for a while before Jesus truly becomes Lord, and the Spirit of God starts to transform them from the inside out.

The place we hope every man and woman would come to is this: “Is Jesus glorified in how I am dressed? Am I reflecting His Lordship with my choice of clothing?”

There is a great article on this subject in Relevant Magazine which elaborates on what we have said here:

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/worldview/christian-cleavage-probably-isnt-problem